She’s Got To Be, So Retro ...

If you have taken a peek at any of my previous posts you may have noticed that I enjoy retro fashions and events. Goodwood Revival is pinnacle of these with the largest, most elaborate and exciting event of its kind. However with that comes high cost and the need for accommodation. The last time we attended the event, we could have gone on a 2 week trip across Europe for the cost of the weekend tickets alone !

So it was time to explore new venues and see what the less expensive options had on offer.

I found a retro event being held near Newbury in Berkshire over a summer weekend, which had some good reviews, with a whole weekend ticket, camping and passes to special events for less than one day ticket for Goodwood. Granted that there would be no motor racing or flying displays, or that the static displays would be smaller, but there where 4 music areas and lots of stalls to wander round. So I took a gamble !

My partner was unable to attend due to a prior commitment so it was just me on my own for the first time at such an event!

Getting all set up to took a little forethought in that I was going to be driving to work then going to travel to the show on my way home – so Cornwall to Aberdeen, offshore for 3 weeks at work, then back to Cornwall via Newbury !

At the time I had no idea what the weather was going to be like, how the campsite was going to be set up or if there were any facilities available on site. So had to prepare for everything !!

I stated to organise my packing by trying on all my various retro outfits to see what looked ok after the covid lockdown and found that my frocks had missed me so much that they all hugged me tightly…! After sorting them out, I had to choose about 3 outfits for each day of the event, morning, afternoon and night time, with matching hats, bags shoes and gloves. Added to this pile was my make up and jewellery, underwear and stockings… I popped in a rain coat … just in case, and some casual clothes as well for the journey to the rapidly growing mountain on the bed !

Next, I had to set up the landrover for the event, fitting the 270’ awning and sides in case of poor weather, some staple foods and a new gas bottle, as well as filling the water tank with nice fresh Cornish water.

As I was going to work, I needed to take my work kit and then pack all this into the back to the wagon.

That done and squared away I set off up to work and away offshore for my 3 week trip. The drive up was on the hottest day ever recorded in the UK and it was 39’c by Gloucester. I was glad I was in a long cool summer dress for the journey and that the air con was working in the landrover!

Coming off the platform was delayed due to the scorching hot weather in the south of the UK causing fog and grot in the northern north sea. (warm air + cool seas = fog !.) It's one of the facts of life offshore, however I was only delayed overnight but was on my way south late the following day.

On arrival in Newbury I had missed the first night camping, but as the event only started on the Friday it was not too much of a concern. The camp site was massive and full of caravans, campers and tents of all shapes and sizes. I was put in a nice spot not too far from the entrance and ablutions at the end of row with some lovely people who were very friendly.

Setting up Poppy (the landrover) aways creates some interest and I soon met the neighbours who popped round to see the setup. I always think that this is a good thing for security as you know who is with each pitch, and can spot people who are not supposed to be there.

After a shower and a quick change into something stylish, I made my way over into the main site to see what was going on and get my bearings for later in the weekend.

The site was well set up with grass aeras and paved footpaths. The grass was baked hard due to the extended period of hot weather, so no risk of heels sinking into the mud !
Lots of vendors were setting up their stalls and I made a mental note which ones to visit the next day.
Back to Poppy and made some dinner siting under the awning, and had an early night.

The weekend passed very nicely, with lots to see, and some retail therapy from the vintage stalls selling ‘brick-a-brack’ and clothes. I found a great vintage set of melamine plates and bowls for the camper, a hair band to match my dress for the night and a light petticoat for one of my dresses, as the weather was too hot for the ‘Hellbunny’ one I normally wear.

There where some amazing cars on display with a lot of vintage American muscle such at corvettes, Chevies and Buicks. Not to be outdone, here were some wonderful British motors there to, with MGA, Austins and Morris being well represented. On the motorbike front I found a fabulous 900SS Ducati in silver/blue which took me back to my Mike Hailwood replica that I had in the early 80’s.  

But it was the clothes that drew my attention mostly. The shopping area was very diverse within the range of outfits that fitted the ‘retro’ theme. The range of styles and colours was amazing, however I was not looking to buy, but was tempted a few times !

The evening event was a special cabaret show with a burlesque dancer that I had seen a few times before – so was looking forward to that. The event was held in a long marquee with seats and was a sell out. The show was very good and the performers were wonderful, however the heat in the marquee was such that a couple of people were feeling poorly so I intervened and asked the stewards to open some of the side walls to let some fresh air in.

Sitting next to me were a group of women who had never been to a Burlesque before, and they talked excitedly about the performance. It was lovely to see them enjoy the spectacle and I was able to explain a little about the history and technique of the performances.

 

There was music in several venues all over the site, with boogie-woogie and hip-hop for dancing, and some ragtime on the pathways for all to enjoy. I would have loved to have had a dance but I was on my own with out my partner, so had to enjoy the dances from the side lines.

 

So, what where my impressions of the event?

I think that it was great value for money with lots to see and do, good acts and good vendors, some nice motors on display and a great atmosphere.

Would I go again ?

Yes, with my partner so as I have someone to share the event with and dance with.

Any negatives ?

None really, however this particular weekend was exceptionally hot all over the UK, so the venue was very warm inside some of the hangers and marquees. It may be very different if it was wet – but that would be the same for any outdoor event in the UK !

https://www.retrofestival.co.uk/newbury/

How Are You ...?

Seeing though the fog

The three little words ‘How Are You’ have such a key part in helping everyone we encounter. We all use them on a daily basis and they have many levels of meaning, and the ability to be interpreted and answered in numerous ways.

‘How are you’? – can been a light, simple opening to a normal conversation as in ‘How are you ??’
Or it can be a specific question on your health, and lead to an in-depth explanation on your last doctors visit or your current bout of cold symptoms such as ‘How ARE you?’.
The other aspects can be seen as an inquiry after an emotional event such as a bereavement or change in relationship after a breakup. Mental health issues such as, stress, depression and loneliness can be encouraged into the conversation as well, with the simple use of open questions such as ‘How are YOU?’

'How are you' gives a large opening to discuss having to live in an unpleasant situation where you are being bullied or abused, where you have issues with your self-identity, your sexuality or gender is something that you are dealing with on a day-to-day basis.
However, when asked ‘How are you’, some individuals put a brave face on things and just gloss them over rather than take the opportunity to open up and share that part of their life.

So, taking the time to ask the question in a more open, personable way, emphasising the ‘you’ part, and guiding the answers to help find any root issues which may be something we can all do to help our friends and colleges as well as others we meet on our day to day lives.

Remember to be receptive to any answers to your question as we all need to be more open about our feelings and not to accept ‘one word answers’. Take the time to look deeper into the person and the reasons behind the responses given.

Over the last few months I have been part of the Enquest ‘Enclusion’ Diversity Team and have developed some small presentations which have been posted on the companywide social media sites, giving information on things like the Transgender Day of Remembrance, the importance of Gay Pride, and most recently the HIV/AIDS day.

Each of the presentations has made me sit down and review my thoughts on why we mark these occasions and how to support those who are affected by them and others in the diversity spectrum.

How are they coping ? Do they have support ? Are they isolated ? Can they share their feelings and raise personal issues?
By publicising and explaining these aspects of the LGBT+ and other areas of diversity, it was hoped that this may encourage people to have conversations with each other, to ask the difficult questions and try to see life from the others perspective.

I am lucky in that I work within a supportive team, with managers and co-workers who have good understanding of Transgender and what that means to me. However I am all too aware of many others who are not so fortunate, and have struggles on a daily basis at work and at home. These people may be putting a very brave face on things, but working hard to hold things together and would appreciate someone just to take time out to ask some simple open questions …

So, How Are You ….. ?

There is always a rainbow 

Transgender Day of Visibility

                                                        

31.03.22 marks the international Transgender Day of Visibility (TDOV)where trans people all over the world are able to celebrate their contributions to society.

 

First held in 2009 as a counterpart to the Transgender day of remembrance, where the discrimination abuse and murders of transgender individuals is spotlighted, the TDOV is seen as a positive event to showcase prominent Transgender  role models  in all walks of life. 

 

As you may know, I have identified as Transgender for many years and strive to show the TG community in a positive light. 

The individuals I look at being my role models are people who many may have never heard of, but have had an impact in the normalisation of transgender in the community.  Here are a selection of some of the British TG individuals that I look up to : - 

 

Going back to the 1700’s was the Scots James Barrie who worked as a military surgeon and became the inspector general of hospitals. It was later found after their death that James was a female and thus probably the first qualified female Dr in the UK  - 

 https://www.history.com/news/the-extraordinary-secret-life-of-dr-james-barry 

Following on from this in the 1940’s was Michael Dillon, who was a Navel surgeon and underwent the first female to male surgery. In later life he became the first European to be ordained as a Tibetan Buddhist monk,  - 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Dillon

 

Roberta Cowell was a former WW2 RAF spitfire pilot and a prisoner of war, who transitioned from male to female in the early 1950’s. She was also famous for being GP racing driver which she continued after her transition. - 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberta_Cowell

 

April Ashley MBE, transitioned in the   1960’s and became famous due to her marriage and devoice to a peer, which resulted in long term barriers being imposed on all members of the TG community until recently  - 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_Ashley 

Suzy Eddy Izzard, a comedian and actor who has always been a visible member of the TG community, standing out in her clothing style and presenting in both male and female garb. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Izzard

  

Christine Burns MBE, and Stephen Whittle OBE, activists who advisees the government on transgender issues, instrumental in the Gender Recognition act amongst other things. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christine_Burns

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Whittle

 

Catharine  Burton – transitioned from male to female while serving as Senior BA pilot and now an activist involved with advising media on transgender issues. 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-47803416

 

Bobbi Pickard was the first openly TG in BP and has been awarded in numerous areas for her work in diversity awareness and support

https://www.bobbipickard.com

Ayla Holdem - transition while serving as a helicopter pilot in the RAF, now works as a police helicopter pilot 

https://www.bustle.com/p/ayla-holdom-is-the-only-female-helicopter-pilot-on-the-uk-police-force-but-shes-used-to-breaking-barriers-9272426

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Outside of the UK there are many prominent transgender individuals who are leading the way forward in all walks of life.

 

In recent estimations it was found that over 1% of the UK population identify as Transgender,  So you may have not knowing met someone who is transgender, but that doesn’t mean you have not come into contact with a trans person. 

We are here in all walks of live and are proud to be ourselves. 

LGBTQ+ Awareness - my world wide presentation !

 Recently I was asked to give a presentation on LGBTQ+ to the company who own my oil platform. 

At first I thought it was just a simple powerpoint that would be posted on the company website with some simple information and explanations; however one of the directors had other ideas and wanted this to be a ‘learning at lunchtime’ session broadcast live to all the company world wide ! YIKES!! 

So I revisited my powerpoint and added more links and expanded the narrative, with deeper research into the background and history of the community. 

This lead to lots of thinking on my situation, being TG and open about my lifestyle, and how I was to put this over to an international audience with different laws and religions. 

I had lots of good questions around the presentation, with discussion points on my experience working offshore as an Out and Proud and TG, as well as the new research into the management of HIV/AIDS. Some of the comments were very touching in the support the oil and gas industry now gives to all members of the LGBTQ+ community. 

Below are the slides and notes from the presentation, which hopefully make some sense out of context from the meeting. 

Presented in Dec 2021. 

Out and Proud

 

As those who have been following my various posts will know, I am a nurse on an oil and gas platform in the Northern North Sea, and have been out to the crew for some time, and am lucky in having good support and acceptance from the majority of the platform population. 

In a previous post, I discussed being supported by my manager on the platform and how that affected me, I took the step to nominate the manager for an in-house award for diversity which he duly won.

On the back of this, I was invited to join the company diversity team which had been recently established, and began to contribute to the group with material which was relevant to my transgender status, highlighting aspects such as transgender day of remembrance, the international AIDS day, and supporting transgender individuals in the workplace. 

This was noticed by one of the senior managers, who asked my help in submitting an article to OGUK, the industry governing body,  for publication on their diversity website and other media. 

The following is a slightly edited version the article published. (xxx added in place of names ) 

''Born and raised in Wiltshire, xxx   has represented Great Britain in canoeing, cycled around the world and now works as a medic on offshore installations, currently on the EnQuest Heather Alpha for MCL. But it hasn’t all been plain sailing. Being transgender, xxx had a hard time growing up and struggled to feel comfortable in his identify at work. That was until a colleague at EnQuest reached out to learn more.

I realised I was transgender from a very early age. Growing up wasn’t easy, and I tended to keep my gender issues to myself. I didn’t feel comfortable sharing my identity with anyone until I was in my mid-20s.

After I left home, I served as a nurse in the RAF for 11 years. As an accomplished canoe racer, while working with the RAF I regularly took part in regattas and races across the world, representing Great Britain. For a spell while in Japan, I also worked with the country’s women’s Olympic canoe team as a coach.

I love a challenge. And so, in the 1980s, my partner and I decided to cycle around Europe. We sold and gave away everything we owned (including the cat) and cycled through Europe for a year. But we were enjoying the trip so much that we decided to extend the route, finding ourselves in Thailand, and then Japan, before arriving in North America and flying home from Los Angeles. Over a period of six and a half years, we covered 36,000 miles and about 40 countries.

In pursuit of a new challenge and a different quality of life, I went to Aberdeen in search of work opportunities in the offshore energy sector, quickly securing a position working as a medic for a drilling company – flying out to The North West Hutton for Santa-Fe the next day.

Over a period of 40 years, I’ve worked on floating and fixed platforms, dive vessels and an onshore project in Mongolia. However, throughout this time, I struggled with my gender identity, which is very much a part of me. It’s not a lifestyle choice and not something I can simply put aside. I was unable to feel comfortable in my identity at work for decades, until a few years ago when a senior manager reached out to me directly to talk about it.

I was incredibly grateful when my manager at EnQuest asked me into his office to talk about my identity one day. He asked how I’d like to be addressed and how he could best support me at work. The conversation had a huge impact on me, boosting my confidence and making me much more comfortable in my working environment. Before then, I never experienced this level of support or opportunity to talk about my situation – either inside or outside work. It was always a taboo subject.

The offshore industry can be perceived as a ‘macho’ environment. However, the vast majority of those working in the industry may be unaware or simply not know how to talk about more sensitive issues, such as gender identity and sexuality. Nonetheless, they are incredibly compassionate, supportive and tolerant.

We are all unique individuals and have our own stories. Only by taking the time to understand who you are working with, what they require to feel valued and supported, and what their needs and fears are, will you get the best out of those you work with.

For those working with people who are different, never be afraid to ask questions and take the time to listen to them. Ask how they are, about their family and home life. Understand what makes them happy or unhappy. It will build an understanding of the complete individual. After all, everyone is ‘normal’ until you get to know them.’'

OGUK website - https://diversityandinclusioninenergy.co.uk/news-articles/being-transgender-in-the-oil-and-gas-industry-today/ (OGUK now called OEUK - Feb 2022) 

...........................

Not long after the publication of the article, our company diversity team was nominated as one of the finalist in the OGUK annual awards for diversity, which was a great honour and I was happy to be able to contribute a small part towards. Sadly we did not win the award but were overwhelmed to be a finalist. 

I have been offshore since 1987 and have seen immense changes in the industry, where the first drilling managers I worked with ran the rig with bullying and intimidation, safety was just a byword and getting the job done quickly was the only priory. However this has largely been replaced by a more modern way with a respectful and appreciative approach from management being the normal way of work nowadays. 

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that the industry would be in such a position to encourage diversity and have some one like me publicly share my story with my peers. 

I do know of other Transgender offshore and onshore workers in the Oil and Gas industry. Some, like Bobby Pickard and Samantha Nelson have been shining lights and are paving the way for others to follow and I hope my small contributions will help give others the courage to be themselves in the offshore world. 

Supporting Others Wherever Needed

I had an unusual situation this time home recently with put many things into perspective for me – It’s a long rambling post so grab a cuppa !

We have lived in our home by the seaside in the South West of the UK for the last 25 yrs and have had the same family next to us all that time.

Mother and Father who have 3 boys, who are all part of a very pleasant, tight knit family.

 

The youngest lad (22) has some mental health issues and is unable to work, has mood swings and is very solitary at times, which are compounded with him and the whole family finding it very hard to cope during the covid lock down situation.… so that’s the back story and setting the scene.

 

We have never had to discuss my dressing with my neighbours. I tend to be discreet when in my home location as it’s not something that I tend to share with everyone, but I don’t hide it away. I go out often and leave dressed from home, but just pick my time and don’t dawdle.

 

While I was away at work, the youngest lad has popped round to see my partner a few times for advice on minor injuries (my partner has first aid skills) and my partner realised that he really just wanted to chat to someone about something that was worrying him – however my partner is not comfortable in supporting mental health issues as this is outside their skill and comfort zone so deferred him to his mental health team.

Later that day his mother came round and asked to chat as the lad had confided in her that he likes to crossdress and wanted some advice about how to go about it, as he was looking to buy expensive clothes, shoes, a breast plate etc., with money he doesn’t have, and the family can’t afford … 

Apparently, the next door family have known that I dress for many years and have often seen me go in and out but just accepted it as part of life!

 

Needless to say, when I got home from work a few days later, I was able to have an open and frank chat with him on his thoughts and reasons for dressing, his expectations and dressing history. He confessed to self-harming and dark thoughts, with worry about not being accepted or ridiculed. 

This was followed by a long chat with his mother. 

One of their main concern was how would the father take it.

I advised them to keep things realistic and not to rush into things and not to spend a fortune on ‘inappropriate’ clothes from specialist shops.  I recommended that he and his mother visit charity shops for practical cheap clothes that fitted him and shoes rather than online glamor shops. I also offered to introduce him to a local TG group that I have been associated with for many years after the lockdown restrictions are over. To finish up I strongly advised him to speak to his mental health team about his moods and dark thoughts. 

 

A couple of days later I had a sit-down talk with the father, (who I discovered has also had also known all about my dressing for several years) and explained the situation about the youngest wanting to dress. The father was totally relaxed about the whole thing and took the ‘my child no matter what’attitude which was very humbling. I was never part of a supportive family, so this was a wonderful thing to see.

Since then, the young lad has had a vast improvement in his mental health and has stopped self-harming, he has been attentive to his mother and his new baby and helping more at home. He has bought a couple of dresses with his mother and a wig, and we are going to have another chat when I am next at home. It's very early days yet but hopeful this may help in many areas.

 

For me, it’s been an amazing situation in that my neighbours had known that I dress and have seen me going out numerous times and have not batted an eyelid, but had enough sense to ask for help in supporting their son who was in a bad place in a situation that they had no experience in.

 

We are all role models for the people we meet as you never know who may have similar interests, or who are going through some inner turmoil about their gender identity.

 

I go out and about dressed often and meet many people from hotels, restaurants and shops, to giving lectures and advising about TG in the workplace; but everyone I meet could be someone in this situation, who needs some help and guidance. 

So being proud, polite and professional helps put the TG community in a positive light to members of the general population.

 

Sorry that this has been a rambling post – it’s just something that I feel should be shared at this time when the whole world is having mental health issues compounded by Covid 19 and many are unable to express their feminine side as often as they would like.

 

Hugs 

Dawn

Covid Management 

The Summons

 

I was summoned to the Managers office this week .. and asked to shut the door . .. Gulp! 

My mind was in turmoil as to what I had done wrong, was I being moved to another platform, had there been a complaint about my care, .. all this flashed through my mind in a nanosecond as I slipped in to the office … my anxiety crept up another notch when I was asked to sit down and pull the chair up to the side of the desk … 

As you may know, I work on an offshore oil production platform in the North Sea as a nurse (platform medic) and have been on this particular platform for over 13 yrs. We have recently had a change in the platform management team, with a new platform manager joining the company and assigned to the work with us. 

I have been out and proud on the platform since I arrived here and tend to take my Transgender status for granted, its just ‘normal’ for me and I get on well with the platform core crew as well as the vendors and visitors.

However, even though I am out and everyone knows I am Transgender. I tend to dress in a somewhat androgynous style with unisex green overalls and pastel coloured tee shirts, along with my dyed shoulder long red hair and thin shaped eyebrows; so I’m not exactly a shrinking violet then! Heels and skirts are just not done on an oil platform and not appropriate for my situation. 

Back to the office … my anxiety and paranoia were working overtime and I was sitting rather uncomfortably on the edge of the chair waiting for whatever came next… 

The new manger was a large, macho, rugby fan who had a commanding aura about him that encouraged you not to question his decisions.  

‘I understand that you are Transgender’ he says … with me taking a breath worrying what is coming next …  ‘…and would like to know how you would prefer to be addressed …’ asked  my manager… He continued with ‘I have never worked with someone who is openly Transgender before and know very little about it … so I don’t want to upset you in any way.’

Needless to say the wind was knocked out of my sails and I took a few seconds to recover my composure and explain my relaxed tolerance to how I was addressed as I presented mostly male due to my name being that on my contract etc.. with a strong feminine lean. 

I was asked how I balanced my life between male and female time, about my partner and how they dealt with things, and my own preferences and how that fitted in with my work and leisure time.  

What followed was a 15min discussion about how he perceived my conduct to be extemporary and professional, giving declarations of full support from the manager in however I wished to present myself. 

He used words like ‘pioneer’, ‘ground-breaking’ ‘complete person’ and ‘role model’, complementing me on my work ethics and my managing the balance of being transgender and professional in my conduct on the platform, which he sees as one of the most macho work areas possible, where very few Transgender people work. 

I was told to let him know if I had any issues with transphobic comments or bullying as he would not tolerate these in any form. 

Happily, I was able to explain that I had phenomenal support from the core crew team who often defended me when new people made uneducated comments about my gender status, and that they were all comfortable enough around me to have some light hearted banter without meaning anything detrimental. 

So, what was perceived as a potentially worrying interview by my paranoia, turned into an amazing offer of support in all areas of my work and private life, and a request for more information on the subject, to help him give better, informed support in the future. 

I was a little emotional after and had to take a minute to absorb what had just happened and reflect on the issues I had in the past where I was subject to a ‘constructive’ removal from a post due to an unsupportive (transphobic) manager, and how I was being offered support without asking or prompted. 

This event just goes to show that you never know where support will come from, or when, or how. It was an amazing but humbling boost to my personal and professional life from a source that I had least expected, in an area not renewed for its sensitivity but truly welcomed. 

I hope this gives some hope for others who are not in such a good position as myself, and shows that there are great managers out there and you never know where support may come from when you need it most .