Ode to my Partner - Our Civil Partnership Celebration

Well, after 40 yrs and 10 leap years, it is with great pride and pleasure to announce to all that my partner and I took the step to undertake a civil partnership. As one of our friends said, we have had a good ‘try before you buy’ period ! We met in 1985 when we both lived and worked in London, She was an editor of a business publication and I was a staff nurse at Atkinson Morleys hospital in Wimbledon. I had just left the RAF and was living virtually full time female and was planning to go down the route to transition. In those days it was a laborious process of having to have 2 independent psychologists give you a psychiatric review, then you saw the specialist who would need to assess you 3 times (you had to match his ideal female ideal – so never attend with trousers, always present with full make up and styled long hair !), before being referred for hormone medication for a year and then onto a surgeon, but you needed to have a minimum of 2 years real life tests … Sadly the time frame has not improved for people transitioning nowadays but there are fewer hoops. But the modern political minefield is devastating after all the work we did in the 80’s and 90’s for Transgender rights – all being dismantled in the blink of an eye!

I have no idea why she chose me, but I am truly honoured that she did! At that time we were part of the ‘IT’ crowd in London, hitting all the night clubs such as Hippodrome and Heaven, and attending the Drag Balls held all over London, and rubbing shoulders with all the celebrities and new romantics of the day. It was an amazing time, with me on shift work, arriving home after a late shift at 10pm, getting changed and of to town and partying all night, going home and showering and off to work on an early .. ! yikes 9pm is the new midnight now !

After a while, we escaped the city and ran away to the seaside in Cornwall and have been here ever since. I put my transition on hold as we were young, and I was not sure how long the relationship would last (– who ever knows how long any couple will be together… ) …(hmmm … is that a Balderunner quote ??) So, I always had a plan B … if all this fails, I could move back to London and pick up my transition path again. However, after 40 yrs, we are still together and everything related to my transition is still on hold. I have had some Laser and Electrolysis to remove facial hair, but other than that, no other treatments or medications.

In our time together, we have had lots of adventures, cycling round the world, going to Burlesque shows, driving across the Sahara, racing canoes overseas, and working with different charities and community support teams. Its been a blast and I couldn’t wish for a better partner. I have been able to attend numerous Pride and Transgender events all over the world, have extended periods ‘en fem’, attend events, theatre and daily things as my self with full support.

She is one in a million million, the true golden unicorn that every transgender woman wants to have as a partner, who accepts me for being me, puts up with me and supports me. However, her health has become an issue, she has developed Alzheimer’s disease, and has Atrial Fibrillation with Angina. So now we are doing the sensible thing to help protect and secure our future. I never wanted to get married, to be tied to someone with no opportunity to be able to simply walk away and make my own life, follow my need to transition. But after 40 yrs of being a couple, it was time to put on my big girl pants and commit to giving my golden unicorn the stability and support she needs, so the civil partnership was the best compromise and we got a wonderful day in the sunshine, exchanging rings and commitments to each other with friends and fab frocks !

We’ve only just begun this new part of our lives, we are making memories in the hope that she will remember the fun things, so hopefully the next 40 yrs will be just as much fun! Hugs Health and Happiness to All!